Fluff? We’ve So Not Got It
(Edited to incorporate the excellent cartoon from my graphic arts department, which also handles all the laundry duties at Chez Perils. We’re a “flat organization” here. Only in terms of hierarchy, I hasten to add.)
I consider myself an aggressive computer user, but this article has got me thinking that I have a woeful lack of imagination. I would never have thought of connecting my washer and dryer to my computer network. In fact, I put forth a certain amount of effort to ensure that these entities don’t encounter one another. For instance, I try never to leave my laptop in my pants pocket when I throw them in the laundry basket.
The biggest risk is the fact that the washer and dryer are located upstairs and immediately above my computer center. Inevitably, within the purview of geologic time, water will at some point cascade through the ceiling and drench what’s turning out to be my life’s work. With any luck, I’ll either be on the road and have my laptop with me and only Mrs. Perils’ computer and/or life will be at risk, or I’ll be in the house and able to, after tossing one of the cats in to be sure that there’s no electrical hazard, rescue the computer gear.
But all that’s off the subject, which is dealing with arcana of laundry-doing that have never heretofore entered my consciousness:
The system, dubbed Laundry Time, connects a washer and dryer to a wireless home network to deliver notifications to TV screens, PC monitors or cell phones about the status of a laundry load. It also goes further, to let people control the washer and dryer from a distance — pressing a button on the TV remote control, for example, to keep the dryer going a few extra minutes.
“Instead of being enslaved to the washer and dryer, you can allow yourself to be able to do things,” said Tim Woods, vice president of ecosystem development for the Internet Home Alliance, the group behind the project. “You’re coming home from the grocery store, and you get a notification from the dryer that says it’s about to complete — would you like to go into fluff cycle so not everything is wrinkled when you get home?”
Color me an unregenerate primitive male, but I’m much more likely to be coming home from a tavern and wondering how to spirit my soiled underthings into the laundry than I am ever to worry about the most advantageous moment to initiate a fluff cycle.
The other impediment to our entering the brave new world of the Internet Home Alliance is the age of nearly every appliance in the house. The washer and dryer, for instance, were here when we bought the house in 1975. They’re from Penney’s and, yes, they’re avocado green. The stove and fridge were purchased before our major remodel in 1981. The furnace came with the house as well. Somehow, I have a suspicion that I won’t find USB 2.0 ports on any of these devices.
On the plus side, as long as I’m more wrinkled than my clothes, no one will really notice.
